So pleased with my first GP student of the day because she showed me this on my first day back at teaching since we returned from our honeymoon : a 80/100 grade on her General Paper exam paper I gave her as homework!
She used to fail, and get mostly 'E's not too long ago, so this is really encouraging, and the best present ever to any teacher #dayreteachers
—————————————————-
Someone told me about this post recently and I was like 😨
This popular Dayrean alluded to me being a scrooge and a miser (edit: she says it wasn't her intent. Irrelevant to today's topic anw but let's leave it here that she didn't mean to, ok?).
I don't think I'm that at all, and I doubt most of my friends too?
They call me "budget" or "frugal" or "thrifty" and they use it as a compliment, but definitely not cheap / miserly / stingy, terms which are downright insults.
Going on a #financialfast = being a scrooge?
Honestly, I don't care if this Dayrean (or the majority of her 10k followers who might have influenced by her words on FF) thinks that of me cos I went on a financial fast (and well as everyone else who does the FF).
But what I'm indignant about is how so many folks are so quick to label those on a budget / prudent / frugal, which has predominantly been a positive Asian trait, and translate that being a cheapo and all of the other insults.
I don't want to put her user here cos I don't want anyone to go attack her on her page for writing this. Anyway I saw some of my readers standing up for me in the comments (thank you!) so there's no need for me to engage and fire.
But what about others? Surely being called a scrooge and a miser isn't a nice thing anyone wants to hear. It gets worst among children who haven't quite learnt to be tactful yet given their young age.
Mind you, there's a whole WORLD of difference.
Furthermore, I think folks who believe that someone saving money =
"being so extreme" and "having to compromise on one's happiness" have really, really gotten it all wrong.
It is NOT a trade-off. Who says being frugal is equivalent to being unhappy? Both concepts are NOT mutually exclusive.
Maybe spending on Llaollao and Calbee chips make some people truly happy, but this may not be the case for everyone. To both folks who are on a budget and those who value eating healthily, these may seem like a total waste of money to them.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion of what makes them happy, but don't assume everyone feels the same. I definitely don't feel like I'm compromising on any happiness when I skip those sorts of foods. In fact, I feel guiltier each time I eat Llaollao or chips. Both in terms of my money and health, cos there's just so much sugar and salt content in them?
A financial fast is NOT meant to be a long-tern solution.
The whole point isn't about how much you'll save through a #financialfast , but to understand yourself and your spending habits better. It's a great technique if you want to save but find it difficult to.
And neither is it supposed to be a long-term lifestyle practice?!? I clearly said this in the post, calling it extreme. I really doubt anyone would be able to forgo so many things on a prolonged basis, myself included. I need my chocolates!!! 🍫
Nonetheless, despite my best intentions, it seemed like my original post offended a number of #dayreshopaholics who thought I was slamming them for spending money, some defiantly saying "what's wrong with spending my own hard earned money?" Especially a number of her 10k followers, and I'm sorry if what I wrote gave you #shopaholics that impression.
Maybe shopping makes you happy, and retail therapy is real for you. Many shopaholics often say I don't understand what it's like to be them, but you know what?
I do, because I love shopping too.
You may find it hard to believe cos I don't have the habit of posting about my #taobaohauls or #shopeehauls but just because I don't show them on social media doesn't mean I don't enjoy buying them.
In fact, shopping for clothes, shoes, makeup, or anything that's new and pretty makes me happy. When I was younger, I loved shopping so much that I would save up from my $20 a week pocket money just so I could buy what I wanted. The latest CD, that pretty dress my mom refused to buy for me, etc 😍
But after years of accumulating stuff, it got to the point where I had TOO MUCH.
How much is too much? Well, for me, that was when my wardrobe was completely stuffed to the brim such that it was literally an arm muscle exercise just to push aside clothes to get to the ones I wanted to wear. I had so many that every hanger had at least 2 – 6 pieces of clothing 😂 what's worst was that I even had double of the same, cos I bought so much and so often that I couldn't even remember alr buying it?!
👗👙👠👜👡💼👛👗
And then one day I realised that while shopping and buying stuff made me happy, this sort of happiness is fleeting. Splurging on that dress that I fell in love with in the shop window made me happy for that day and the next, but after that, guilt would set in. Buying two of the same outfit by accident? It made me feel like I had wasted my money. Even after selling some of my BN clothes at flea markets made me sad cos it was less than what I had paid for, in a moment of folly.
In this age of consumerism, how many in society are quick to jump to conclusions and brush people off as "being a scrooge" or to term them as "miserly" when there's a HUGE world of difference between being prudent and being a downright cheapo?
Some folks believe in shelling out thousands for a branded bag. Others (like me) prefer to spend no more than $70 on a single bag given that there are so many value-for-money bags out there available for a fraction of the price.
My previous work bag, for instance, cost me only $20 and was extremely sturdy, chic (in my boss' opinion) and lasted me for a good 2 years before the shoulder strap started wearing out and I had to ditch it for a new one. My current "going-out" bag was a steal from #Taobao for just $4.70, and I've been using it every weekend since October 2016 with no sign of it giving way anytime soon.
Am I necessarily "compromising on my happiness"? I'm actually quite happy with these bags until today leh.
Sure, maybe some girls who feel happier when they spend thousands on their bags will see this as "depriving myself", but I don't feel like I am.
You may feel comfortable shelling out more money just for the brand, but to me, it is something I won't personally do? And we're all entitled to spend on whatever we want. Everyone likes and values different things. Maybe you like eating out at cafes all the time, but I like my hawker food most (and the occasional cafe). Does that make me a miser?
I didn't miss cafe food when I was travelling leh. I missed my kaya toast, soft boiled eggs, char kway teow, carrot cake, laksa, Hokkien mee, chendol more than anything else ☕🍧🍳🍲🍛#dayrefatties
I wish more people understood the difference between frugal and cheap people before anyone labels others in the future again as such, because frankly speaking? The latter is usually viewed as an insult.
Both frugal people and people who are considered cheap both want to save money, but the ways and means to their ends are completely different.
Price =/= Quality
✅ how the design looks on me,
✅ how often I'll use it, and
✅ how long it'll last me
are far more important criteria than how much it costs or which brand it is from.
I thought this article by AOL summed it up pretty nicely:
1. Frugal people spend based on how much they value the item. Cheap is refusing to spend money on things that will make you happy because you don’t want to part with your money.
2. Frugal people look at quality. Cheap people only look at the price cos they wanna pay as little as they can for it.
3. Being frugal is buying an effective shampoo like Evaus which is an hardly-known drugstore brand vs. a more expensive and branded shampoo one. Being cheap is when you pump extra shampoo from the gym showers to fill up your own bottle for use at home so you don't even need to buy shampoo.
4. Frugal people also look at time. Cheap people waste a lot of time just trying to save that few cents / dollars more, like travelling from Jurong to Changi when they want to buy alcohol just so they can get it duty-free. What about the time, and money, you spent travelling there? Uhuh.
I publicly admitted that I spent $1000+ on taxis last year. Was it worth it? Yes, cos when I have only 30 min in between each tuition location on weekends, I don't have time to wait for the public transport.
5. Contrary to what many people think, frugal people also DO splurge, just only on occasions. The occasional family vacation, the dinner treat for my friend because it is her birthday, etc. Cheap people just wanna keep all their money to themselves.
You can also be happy and frugal at the same time.
After all, frugality is concerned with value, and not about being so miserly that you never have anything you want. My frugal friends are going to reshuffle their spending to get that Europe trip they want, even if it's seemingly expensive. Cos that's what will make them happy.
So don't just paint everyone you know who's saving money as being a miser.
Being cheap usually is taken to be a personality trait that promotes immediate and personal financial gain at the expense of others. Being frugal isn't quite the same? I don't make my friends or loved ones pay for me just because I'm trying to save money leh, nor do other frugal people.
A frugal friend will come to your wedding in the US, but may use airline miles to fly and stay in AirBnb when he gets there. You can't measure a friendship in monetary terms. Also, how many times will my good friend get married?!?
On the other hand, a cheap person won't even come lor. Spend a thousand on just one wedding when the normal wedding angpao rate is already high enough? Nope, they just won't do it. (not because they can't make it ah that's completely different).
Cheap people aren't usually trying to maximize the amount of value they gets from their spending; they're just trying to maximize the amount of money they have left over. If they can find a way to get it for free or from others, they just might.
Of course, each of us has a different set of criteria upon which we judge our every purchasing decision. These criteria are often based on what we consider to bring value to our lives vs "wasteful". I find travelling meaningful and worth spending on because it creates beautiful memories with my loved ones and gives me a break from work. But I don't find shopping on Taobao or Shopee all the time to bring me any value unless it is buying something I need? I rather spend it on food, or investments.
If Taobao hauls make you happy and you can afford it, that's your prerogative. Good for you.
Frugal people also often bring value into the equation. I'd want the cheapest price if possible, but between an item that needs to be replaced once a month and costs 50% less, I'd rather go for a better product which needs to be replaced every 3 months and costs 20% more than the first. My long term cost, or as I like to term it, my utility cost, is much lower that way.
Getting your dates or friends to always pay for you when you're out together? Not cool. Not giving your parents allowance because you just want to save the money? Errr.
I remember people saying, "oh she saved $20k a year? Must be living off her boyfriend(s) and never give her parents allowance la that's why can save so much".
Wow thanks la you don't even know how much money I give my parents and how I pay for my own meals with my dates / husband please.
Oh! I found this table on Google and thought this is another great way of illustrating some of the key differences between the actions of cheap and frugal folks 👍
So let's all not immediately jump to our own conclusions and label everyone we know as cheap when we see someone saving money / or talking about how they're on a budget the next time k? It isn't fair to them, and it most certainly leads many people to become defensive because "cheap" is largely an insult to their character.
Another example my friend and I were talking about yesterday are how some people are so cheap that they haggle with vendors, always asking for discounts, even if the price is already quite low ("low" differs for everyone but let's put that aside for now).
For instance, the trishaw uncles who bring folks around in Malacca under the hot sun for an hour and charge RM 40 (or S$13). Some tourists haggle and try to cut down that amount, which I'm honestly appalled at.
Would you do the same back-breaking, sweaty work for $13 per hour? I personally wouldn't – give me an office job any day over such manual labor please.
So cheap already, still must haggle meh? 😕 if really cannot afford maybe the best thing to do would be to walk around or use a cheaper mode of transport?
It is one thing to be happy because you found someone listing an (otherwise expensive) item you wanna get on Carousell at a discount, but another to message them and slash to unreasonably low prices.
Maybe I value the item they're selling at $100, but they're willing to let it go for $50 in their listing. Yay! I'm happy, they're happy, it is a win-win.
Anyway! I ought to get started on that UOB Krisflyer account analysis which reader @geradteo requested for, so I'll share more tmr!
Hopefully this post has made more people realise the difference between frugality and being cheap, cos from what many of you shared in the comments, it seems like this isn't the first time people have mixed both concepts up!
Shall go stalk #Carouhell soon for tomorrow's post as a follow-up haha let's see if there any funny ones 😂
