I AM BACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
13 REASONS WHY NOT
Okay lemme set the record straight first – I do think 13 Reasons Why is a good story. It was well-scripted (albeit too draggy at parts), had great climaxes and was extremely riveting. Some strong characters, some what-the-hell-were-you-thinking ones and some forgettable ones.
BUT!
Here's why I think 13 Reasons Why is NOT okay. It's not okay because it freaking glorifies /romanticises / justifies teenage suicide?!?! Dude, teenage suicide is a serious social issue. What about implications?!?
Pic: Hannah's parents, after Hannah died.
"Whatever Hannah thought she saw, she LIED about it on these tapes because she's a CRAZY DRAMA QUEEN who just killed herself for ATTENTION."
(says Hannah's hater. See all that name calling? Oh man, bullies will never change. Not even their victim's death is gonna change them, least of all yours.)
No no no no no.
I was talking about the show with my teenage students yesterday and this was our exchange :
π: "Do you think any suicide is justified?"
π: "No."
π: "Good, me neither. Why? Who gets hurt the most when someone commits suicide?"
π: "Family and people who love us."
π: "Exactly! Okay, so now onto the show. Do you think Hannah's suicide is justified?"
π: "Yes. Got 13 reasons."
π¨π±π : "So now you think it's okay, after watching the show?"
π: "Ya."
Good grief, no no no no NO!
Suicide is NEVER ok. There is NOTHING justifiable or honorable about such an act.
Let's leave religion out of the picture for now – life is sacred and God-given, so an act of suicide immediately sends you to hell and not heaven.
Whether or not there's 13 reasons or 999 reasons, it is NOT a justification for you to take your own life. It is NOT okay at all.
Hannah was upset her life spiralled down so bad so quickly and wanted everyone involved to pay for it. But did that really have to come at the price of her life? And did her desired result even realllllllly happen? Irl?
How many teenagers who have watched / are watching the show now think, and believe, as a result, that suicide can be the best way of making the people who had hurt them feel guilty and sorry? That it is the best form of revenge on those who have hurt you?
IT IS NOT π
In real life, the people you end up hurting are NOT your haters, but your family and closest friends. You'll kill your parents from the inside with all the "What if I had discovered the signs sooner? What if I had spent more time with my child? Could I have been able to stop them?" – questions that will haunt them for the rest of their life.
If the bully bullies you, do you think your suicide is really gonna change him? "oh man I was such a prick I'm gonna improve and become a better person".
NO.
Your haters are gonna remain haters. They might feel bad about their actions for a moment (and I say MIGHT, because last week has convinced me that some people are just incorrigibly mean and horrible and unrepentant π) but it ain't gonna change who they are – a bully!
You really think their victim's death is gonna change them? Gurlllllllll, how idealistic. Wake up. Reality doesn't work that way.
Hannah's death was portrayed as sweet revenge on the people who hurt her. It is NOT.
This is what I hate about the mass media sometimes. Shows like these are just downright irresponsible especially if the teenagers watching aren't watching it with their parents around to guide them. Did the producers not think about the impact it'll have on those who are already suicidal? Will they now think it is okay for them to take their lives? π₯
I'm not saying Hannah's 13 reasons aren't traumatising, and neither am I downplaying her emotions, grief and helplessness.
I was once suicidal too. Back when I was suffering from acne, my classmates were impossibly mean and cruel. They said horrible things about my face, behind my back, and in front of me. I often wondered and questioned God why he made me go through this. Why are the horrible people blessed with good skin, whereas I've to deal with all this sh*t?
The taunting got so bad that I went to high floors and thought of ways I could commit suicide that would give me the fastest and least painful death.
Jump down from the highest floor? 1 second of SPLAT and feeling my bones break. But then I'll look ugly in the coffin.
Cut my wrist? What if I cut wrongly and didn't die instead?
Drink rat poison? Where would a 13-year-old girl get some? Surely the aunty selling it would question me, or even tell my mother.
Run out onto incoming traffic and get hit by a car? But what if I got paralysed instead of dying?
πππππππππ
But I survived. I had friends who didn't judge me, friends who listened and lent me their support, friends who told me my looks didn't define who I was and that one day my acne will fade. And that karma will surely come to my haters and they'll become pimply, fat or single forever πππ
Oh man, the things we teenagers say and think.
So no 13 reasons why please. Try 13 reasons why NOT to take your life instead.
I don't really have 13 reasons but here's what I truly believe : the best form of revenge? Living a life better than your haters.
Live well and HAPPILY. Become more successful than those losers who only know how to taunt, call people names and put others down.
It isn't worth it to give up on what life has in store for you just because of these losers. THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT.
And if you're a parent, a teacher, or a sibling to a teenager who's watching this show?
Please, talk to them about it. Tell them not to be influenced by the show. That life doesn't work that way. Suicide isn't revenge on your haters. There's nothing glorifying about suicide.
I can only reach the few students I teach, but if everyone starts these conversations, we might be able to save a few lives.
And that, will be worth all the effort.
(and yes, I scolded my kid for his answer π)
