How to save thousands on your wedding
Today's post is inspired by this hilarious piece that my friend shared with me. I've no idea whether this article is serious or completely satire, but it got me in stitches early in the morning.
Looking to save thousands of dollars at your wedding? Easy. Just recognise that "no one except you gives a flying fuck" about your big day.
😂😂😂 #dayrebrides good advice right???!?!!?
SIAO EH WHY SO MANY CAMPERS I STRESSSSSS. havent seen so many campers since my EP week!
Today is a killer day for me cos I've 3 major presentations and a finance workshop to teach at night, so please bear with me if I'm a little slow in updating k! 🙏
Jokes aside, this is quite true though. We obsess over the details without realising that no one really cares. The guests are just there to watch two people they know get married (or one, or none, depending on whether your parents invited folks you've no clue even existed) and have a good time.
Most of them probably only care about what food they'll get to eat later (or in my case, I'm wondering about the dessert lol #dayrefatties), whether there's gonna be alcohol, and how much angpao they need to give the couple.
❓s the bride wearing a gown she bought or rented?
❓Do her heels or accessories match?
❓Are the flowers real or fake?
❓Are the groomsmen in matching colours?
❓Did the bride and groom's parents wear their flowers?
❓Are the wedding bands made of gold, silver or platinum?
Well, guess what? No one cares.
😱😎😝
After sourcing for quotes extensively, I realised here's what most couples typically can expect to spend and are spending:
📷Pre-Wedding package: $2,000 – $6,000 (depends on whether you're taking local or overseas)
🍴Banquet: $20,000 – $50,000
🎥Photography & Videography: $4,000
💐 Flowers: $1000
👰Wedding gown & suit: $900 – $15,000 (rent or MTM purchase? Are you wearing 1 white gown throughout? Evening gown? Some brides wear 4!)
👬👭Bridesmaids & "Brothers" outfit: $500 – $2,000
💆💇💅 hair and makeup + dye + facials before your big day + manicures : $1000 – $3000
💎Proposal ring: $1,000 – $6,000
💍Wedding bands: $800 – $4,000
We haven't even counted other stuff like all the ang baos you'll have to give your bridal entourage, JP, flower girl and page boy, and other helpers making your big day possible.
Crazy or what?!?!??
Lunch hotel banquets are not that much cheaper, and even the restaurants have since upped their prices vs this chart which I put together just last year.
The inflation rate is insane.
1. Focus on what and WHO matters.
Granted, not all these ideas may work for everyone. Before you start, check on these:
1. What are your parents / relatives expecting?
2. How many guests do you need / want to invite and pay for?
3. Can you opt out of some expensive traditions or customs?
When I was researching for budget tales by other brides who have been there done that, I realised that not everyone's method out there works the same.
Some talk about how they spent less than 10k, for instance, but then when you dig you realised that's because they had a small number of guests, like 60 or 70. That's $160 per guest leh. Same same please.
We have 250 – 320 guests so many of those ideas couldn't work for us (the shortfall of 70 😠 friends who didn't RSVP, I'm looking at you).
Don't bother inviting folks whom you haven't seen in the last year.
This is going to be controversial, but it is true. My fiance and I had originally set this as our #1 rule for wedding guests, because our reasoning was that if someone hasn't bothered to meet us at least once a year, then that person obviously doesn't care so much for us and isn't worth inviting.
But then we broke our own rule. I got concerned about folks in cliques feeling left out, so I invited the entire bunch.
Guess what? I regret it!
When the bride / groom invites you, they're essentially saying, "you're a valued friend, and I want you there with me out of everyone else in my life to walk me to my next stage of life".
In the end, many of these folks either didn't even RSVP, or made up some lame excuse to not come. It was clear they didn't care.
Work is legit. Someone else's wedding is legit. But most other reasons are just…excuses in disguise. Sorry but that's just how I see it. I only get married once, and if you can't even reshuffle other things to be there for me, it clearly shows how low I am on your priority list. I can tell la don't need to sugarcoat it k.
You know why that's a problem? Because most vendors need you to commit to a number BEFOREHAND.
You can't just tell your banquet manager, "eh sorry ah! I know we promised 30 tables and negotiated around that but now I just had 70 guests MIA so I'm cutting it to 24 tables".
You can try that, but there's a chance your banquet manager is probably going to say, "oh but our discounts of XXX was for 30. So now I've to remove that from your package".
Or even worse, they might tell you, "sorry but to use this venue you need to have a minimum of 30 tables. So you cannot cancel that, but we can swop with something else instead. How about two more free rooms for your bridal entourage or parents to stay in?"
THANKS AH BUT NO THANKS I JUST DONT WANNA WASTE MY MONEY ON STUPID PEOPLE WHO ARENT ATTENDING.
😤😤😤
When you say you CMI because of some (insert lame reason / cover up) here, you're telling the bride / groom that you don't care enough for them as a friend to be there.
You can't measure a friendship by money, but when someone invites you to their wedding, that's them saying, "I care enough about you to want to spend $XXX on your seat so that you can come".
Of course, the wedding couple hopes that you'll cover back your cost in ang paos, but knowing that not everyone does, they would have accounted for wanting to pay for you in some way even if your purse strings are tight.
N and I initially budgeted $50 per guest. We then had to change this to $80.
Guests who don't truly care about you will not be inclined to help you cover costs too, much less give you extra money for "blessing"
We're not even talking about affordability here guys. Let's put that aside for now.
My seat at my best friend's wedding cost her $88 (or less, I don't know what else she negotiated). I gave her $200 in the ang pao anyway, because I wanted to. This was my best friend, and I wanted to not just help her cover my cost, but also bless her with some money for her honeymoon or home.
Invite someone who doesn't really care for you and they'll put either the bare minimum, or LESS. This shit is real guys. Don't try to fool yourself that everyone is gonna be generous and understanding.
What if your friend can't afford it? Should they still come?
YES LA you think the couple really so impractical to expect EVERY guest to be able to afford to cover their costs? Some people don't earn as much. That's reality. But trust me, I'm sure most wedding couples would have taken this into account when they invited you, and SEE they still invited you all the same cos your presence > $$ ok.
Most would also have saved up enough to at least cover some $$ like what @benita shared below.
Lol controversial talk about angpao really is controversial. Carrying on!
2. Set your priorities.
N and I decided early on that above all, we wanted our guests to have a good time at our wedding.
Our key priorities were on:
1. Good food is a MUST (and I insisted on having a dessert table, because #sweettooth and #instaworthy please)
2. Alcohol
3. A good PG and VG to capture the moments for us to remember
We didn't bother spending on a photobooth because we saw it as an unnecessary expense. I know some brides will beg to differ on this, but hey we're all entitled to our own opinions.
We prioritised the food, so we really looked hard for a wedding vendors to do our food and desserts! By opting for no sharks fin or abalone, we were able to stretch our budget to get…17 dishes!!!
So, lucky you if you're coming cos you can be prepared to eat until you explode k? Haha. See, that's how much we love you guys. Not a lot of my wedding guests are here on Dayre so @audt01 comes straight to mind. Aud I know you very thin but please eat more and feast on all the food we ordered k!!! 🐣
Also a THREE TIER WEDDING CAKE and lots of macaroons galore!!!! Sorry this bride must spend on my cake haha. Can't wait to see these babies! I'm gonna bug my maid of honour to just bring me the beef and dessert into the bridal suite HAHAHA.
And chocolate eclairs and cakes!!!!!!!
Okay dessert also have orh nee for the older generation cos I'm a Teochew bride and I love yam paste too!!!!
I ordered dishes for my guests machiam like I'm the one eating sia. HAHAHA.
GELATO ICE CREAM FOR DESSERTS ALSO OKAY WOOHOOOO
Jialat #dayrefatties to the max siol.
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I need to go on a diet!
Okay seriously, I've got less than three weeks to go and I've not lost a single pound. #dayrebrides help!
I've cut out rice and most carbs (except cakes sheesh) a month ago but it isn't working. Looks like I need to strictly keep to a diet of vegetables and plain water LOL torture much?!?
👦: no need diet la you look beautiful already. Plus, later you complain your boobs shrink again how?!?
👰: but my arms! So fat!! My tummy! Gotta kill this food baby! My fat cheeks! Argh!!!!
Ah sorry I digressed. Back to the topic!
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Other than the food, we also prioritised on the actual day photographer and videographer. We really wanted good photos and a sentimental tearjerker, heart-achingly sweet video that we can re-watch again and again after our wedding to remind ourselves of how happy we were, how much we were in love, and how loved we are.
So we went with BackAlley Creations (his photos so dreamy I cannot see without swooning) and @cepheus for videography!
By BackAlley Creations
Once these 3 were settled, we then turned our attention to sourcing for value-for-money vendors who could deliver on the rest without bursting our wallet. I'll save the details for a full and complete review after the wedding, but we just had our venue rehearsal this week with all the vendors present and they really made everything fall in place.
I'm perhaps also most thankful for Belicia, my main magic maker! More on her another day haha once I have our photos to follow a proper post.
So don't sweat the small stuff.
Like what you guys requested in my post yesterday, I'll do up a proper blog post after on all the items to include expenses on!
But really, if you want to save thousands of dollars, don't worry so much about everything. Just focus on what matters most.
My biggest tip would be to skip the hotel banquet entirely and do it Western style like what @rieriecupcakes did for her wedding in Australia, but let me first try to pull mine off without a hitch before I go around talking about it lol.
Skip the hotel banquet and you should immediately save about $10k!
For everything else, there's always the more under-the-radar, value-for-money vendors that most people don't talk about…and of course TAOBAO!
Some things are worth DIY-ing while some aren't.
I promise to blog everything in detail after my big day is over! 😉 till then, I hope you guys find this post useful!
